by Abdulkadir Aden “Jangeli”
Saturday, October 13, 2007
The literature you are about to read is divided in 4 parts. Its contents are based on facts and fictions. The players are the stakeholders of Somali politics and blights:
Part II
Zirrow: I spoke with a dozen head of states and I explained how
Girgis: Mr. Minister, did they buy it? Did any one of them raise their eyebrows and question your sincerity for
Zirrow: Girgis, you need diplomatic training. Heads of state do not argue or go into detail about their concerns, especially if you are a regional power like us, or a global power like the
Asfaum: Yes, Mr. Minister it sounds good. But, did you contact Mr. Blaise Compaore?
Girgis: Who is Compaore?
Asfaum: He is the president of
Zirrow: Why should I contact him? He should contact me; the Organization of African Unity is
Girgis: Because the United Nations headquarters is in
Zirrow: And..?
Girgis: And OAU Headquarters is in
Zirrow: Bravo Girgis, what else do these two cities have in common?
Girgis: Both have Mercato … Italian mercato
Tessafa: No, both are full of incompetent diplomats!
Zirrow: Wrong, their names have the same meaning… New Flower.
Barhanu: Well, Mr. Minister, thank you for your report. It is very encouraging! Also Tessafa and I contacted most Somalis who we believe can play a role in helping us reach our goal, but we did not contact Mr. Egal. We left him for you Mr. Minister. He is a heavy weight, and as you know he is a shroud politician. He can easily figure out our intentions...
Girgis: Ah! Is Mr. Egal different from other Somalis?
Barhanu: YES!!
Girgis: How? I thought they were all the same!
Asfaum: Brother Girgis, please save your breath. Not all Somalis are as predictable as you think. You will be amazed to know that many of them are proud of their national-hood; especially those who fought for Somali freedom and independence decades before you were born, like Aden Abdulle Osman, Abdirazak Haji Hussein, and Mohamed Ibrahim Egal.
Girgis: Sorry, Tassefa told me they all have a clannish mentality and as long as we support their kin, they will forget about their subsistent state.
Tassefa: Kahkahkahkah…. Yes, I explained to you how clans are more important than their nation, or even their religion, but you have to take the qualities of each leader into consideration.
Girgis: Yes, yes, Tassefa you are right. But let’s get back to business. Mr. Minister, are you going to talk to Mr. Egal?
Zirrow: About what? NO! I am not talking to him. He has never directly requested that
Girgis: So let us discuss the criteria for these “good” guys?
Barhanu: Yes, if the Minister allows me, I would like to lay out the most important traits for the gentlemen we want running Somali affairs for the decades to come, until it ceases as a nation.
Zirrow: Berhanu please continue.
Barhanu: Well, these men:
1) Must have ambition to rule.
2) Must be merciless.
3) And they must be truly loyal to us.
These three characteristics are key, but there are a couple of other elements that we need to consider for the selection, like past performances in the civil war, and clan compassion.
Zirrow: Very good. I believe together we will make history, one that has not been achieved in this century. We must be confident, firm, and uncompromising in our goals, so help us God.
Tassefa: Before you close the meeting I would like to share some intelligence coming from Hargeysa regarding Mr. Egal’s call for Somali reconciliation. He is planning to meet some prominent southern politicians to explore hosting a national conference in Hargeysa.
Burhanu: That is not a good sign Mr. Minister. If we let Somalis have a conference, without our input, it may end up as successful as the one in Borama. They can easily reach some sort of agreement and understanding, which could lead to a functioning central government.
Zirrow: Mr. Tessafa, will you please contact all the warlords, especially the diehard ones, and warn them about the danger glowing from Hargeysa.
Historical Facts:
In September 1999, while President Mohamed Ibrahim Egal was exploring the possibility of national conference in Hargeysa, President Ismail Omar Ghelle attended for the first time the UN conference as President of Djibouti. In his speech, Mr. Ghelle, suggested to the UN General Assembly that a conference should be held to plan for the rebuilding of
Another Meeting Called
Again Mr. Zirrow and his advisors met in their usual meeting room for a quick briefing and to also find out the progress of the Arta conference.
Zorrow: Please give a round of applause to Tessafa for the good job he did about the Arta conference.
Girgis: What did he do?
Zirrow: I was telling the whole world that we are supporting Ghelle’s initiative for Somali reconciliation, while Tassefa was revealing the opposite to our good guys. He called them to boycott Ghelle’s conference.
Girgis: Wow… so Mr. Minister are you telling us that Tassefa’s word was heard better than yours?
Tessafa: Hey...hey... Girgis stop joking around! Can’t you decipher the Minister’s expressions?
Burhanu: Mr. Minister, how about Arabs? Are they supporting Arta’s process?
Girgis: Who cares! Have you ever seen a problem that an Arab has solved?!
Assfaum: Yes, Algebra….kahkhakahkahkah. But seriously speaking, we cannot forget that
Girigis: So what? If the Arabs care about
Zorrow: Well said Girgis! Sometimes your bluntness amazes me… People don’t like the naked truth, but after all it is the truth. This meeting is adjourned. Remember that in the next meetings we will be devising a strategy to destroy any outcome of the Arta conference. To be continued..........Part III
By Abdulkadir Aden “Jangeli”
E-mail: [email protected]